8 Aug 2013

What happens when there's NO sex in the city: Former virgin turns a decade of celibate dating horror stories into a one-woman show

Virgin diaries: Alexis Lambright has turned her tales of dating as a celibate woman into a show
A 28-year-old woman has turned her decade of dating as a virgin into a one-woman show for the New York International Fringe Festival.
The Alexis Lambright Tell-A-Thon: Combating Adult Virginity is a comedy about a former Catholic schoolgirl committed to celibacy in a city where the instant hookup culture made it impossible for her to date.
When the Dayton, Ohio native told her first boyfriend in New York that she was a virgin, 'He looked at me like I was a museum exhibit [and] told me he wanted to deflower me,' Ms Lambright tells the New York Post.
He left in the morning and never called again - a pattern, she says, that would become all too familiar.
The longer she waited, the more she attracted men who wanted to be her first - for all the wrong reasons.

'Men have so many women to choose from, it’s tough for someone who’s not giving it up right away,' she says.
Ms Lambright was raised by strict Presbyterian parents who instilled in her that sex was a sacred act.

At her Catholic high school, she signed a chastity pledge card promising to wait until marriage.
She was determined to keep her promise and graduated from having never kissed a boy.

When she moved to New York City to study film at the College of Staten Island at age 18, she says that she once again felt left out.
'There’s nothing more annoying than theater majors hooking up and rubbing it in. I felt like everyone was doing it but me,' she tells Post writer Doree Lewak.
Things seemed to be looking up when Ms Lambright began dating Chris, a fellow virgin - except that he didn't want to wait until marriage. After she refused to go all the way on their two-year anniversary, the couple broke up.

'By this time, being a virgin had become a weird point of pride for me. It was like a reverse scarlet letter,' she admits. 'Chastity was my identity.'
Celibate confessions: Ms Lambright admits that many men wanted to 'deflower' her for all the wrong reasons, and she eventually changed her stance on sex outside marriage
Celibate confessions: Ms Lambright admits that many men wanted to 'deflower' her for all the wrong reasons, and she eventually changed her stance on sex outside marriage

Her friends would rave about their hot sex and one-night stands, and even a co-worker at Whole Foods warned her to get her virginity 'taken care of' or risk turning into 'an old virgin'.
To vent her frustrations, Ms Lambright started writing - and was shocked when an off-Broadway theater picked up her story. At the same time, she says that she was beginning to see life outside her 'religious bubble', and felt ready to 'pick a guy and just do it'.
So, just before her 28th birthday, she took a trip to St Croix - ironically, in the Virgin Islands - with a man she had been dating for a month.
There, she said,  'no wine, no candles and hardly any foreplay' the long-anticipated moment happened.

After all the build-up,  she admits that the experience was worse than she expected. Her boyfriend wasn't attentive or affectionate for the rest of the trip, and the couple split soon afterward.
She says that in the past she had regrets about picking her first partner, but now believes that it was supposed to happen that way. At 27, she started happily having sex.
'Now I've got my groove on,' she says. 'And there are no labels to hold me back.' 

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